May 2013
tentacruels:
On an iPhone “yolo” autocorrects to “tool” and I think that’s beautiful
bepeu:
reason i want to be dog
cute
fluffy
sleep a lot
no exam s
if i try to talk to you and you seem uninterested i will never try to talk to you again ever
scraggay:
darkdaysbrightnights:
scraggay:
MY MOM FED ME COOKIES WITH MILK IM GONNA SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM WHY CANT SHE DO ANYTHING RIGHT
OH MY GOD
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER
GIVING YOU COOKIES AND MILK
ARREST HER
IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU PIECE OF TRASH I LITERALLY MEANT IM GOING TO SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM
amoying:
things that shouldn’t exist:
body hair
acne
getting sick
bad things happening to good people
olives
My day feels incomplete when we don't talk.
sweat is just your body crying because it wants you to stop moving
drarna:
the earth teasing other planets for having “no life”
beerito:
“are u crying?” “no I just have swag in my eye”
falling-deeperinlove:
unironicgoth:
my favorite eye color is your eye color and my favorite height is your height and my favorite weight is your weight my favorite hands are your hands my favorite knees are your knees
and my favourite tummy is your tummy and my favourite laugh is your laugh and my favourite teeth are your teeth and my favourite ears are your ears and my favourite kisses are...
if you’re a sarcastic asshole come sit with me because i’m one too
“I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe in seeing someone from...”
– Ryan O’Connell (via joyinthecity)
I text back embarrassingly fast
or three hours later
there is no in between
nevvzealand:
thinking about my homework is probably as far as im gonna get with it
fulllmetal:
im not sure if im hungry but im gonna eat anyway just in case
jinn0uchi:
the-hatred-machine:
purgatorystuck:
Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes
I love spanish
A capital letter changes it even further:
Mi Papa tiene 47 anos = My pope has 47 anuses
literally the best post I have seen on this website
rocketpowers:
there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone
just let that sink in
internetexplorers:
we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
have you ever caught someone staring at you and wondered what they’re thinking about like if it’s something positive or negative if it’s a passing thought or a long internal string of things if they’re even thinking about you at all or you just happen to be in the line of sight while their mind drifts off about something completely unrelated
my voice is girly when I talk to strangers but when I’m with friends I turn into morgan freeman
do you ever just wanna kiss your boyfriend but realize you don’t have one
jesussbabymomma:
DOES ANYONE ELSE MAKE SCENARIOS IN THEIR HEAD OF THEM DATING SOMEONE AND HAVING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP AND DOING CUTE COUPLE THINGS WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE ME 24/7
sherlocksmyth:
sherlocksmyth:
one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside
when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in...
